By now, you’ve all seen the photo of Tom Brady walking to his girlfriend’s house wearing a walking boot on his right foot. Everyone is focusing on his foot but Blue Monkey Disco Party looked into the photo more to find out what’s behind the flowers Brady is carrying. I always enjoy funny articles and this one is great. Their findings are below (you can see the whole page here Tom Brady Flowers)
Everyone seems to be freaking out at Tom Brady’s new fashion statement of carrying flowers and wearing a walking cast on his foot today, but we at The Party have found that Brady a perfectly good explanation for this week’s behavior. It seems the boot is from kicking almost every team in the NFL’s ass this year and the flowers are just one bouquet of many that are going to various NFL front offices and certain players that have met their demise at the hands of Brady and the New England Patriots this season. It seems that all the kicking ass has taken it’s toll on Brady’s foot and the taking names, well that is what the flowers are for. Every bouquet comes with a card and this is what a few of them say…
The Packers got a heartfelt card addressed to Brett Favre that read:
Brett, it must have felt like old times on all those pain killers while you were playing in negative temperatures and not being able to feel your hands last weekend. I mean it Eli Manning winning a play-off game and advancing to the Super Bowl basically meant that you were lucky to be one of two quarterbacks who got to play in hell while it froze over. Even Tom Coughlin looked incredulous, as his face was frozen in amazement the entire game and well into Monday evening. It’s not often you get to play in front of the Winter Warlock. Interception or not, I still think you are the toughest and most gutsy S.O.B. that ever picked up a football.Come back next year,
Tom Brady
The Jets are merely got a videotape of flowers with a card that read:
Sorry we cheated, feel free to use this tape to record our victory in the Super Bowl. Tom BradyTo Tony Romo:Dude, you gotta start dating super models instead of singers. They’re cheaper cause they eat next to nothing and you don’t have to pretend to like their singing.Bros before hos,
Tom The Ravens got a sincere apology from Brady for the refs in their meeting in December. Mostly because Ray Lewis has been lurking around Brady’s house the past month:Ravens…sorry we paid off all those refs to win that game in early December. We had a perfect season going, I mean honestly, do you really think the NFL is going to let millions of dollars in future ad revenue go down the drain for a feel good Kyle Boller story? And could you please tell Ray Lewis to stop hanging around my neighborhood and leaving me cryptic messages on my answer machine saying “I’ma kill you dawg!” It’s the refs in the NFL that fix the games not the players! I’ve enclosed Phil McKinnley’s address, just don’t tell him you got it from me.Tom BradyPeyton Manning got flowers with a card that read:Sorry for breaking you TD record, I imagine you‘re making the sad Peyton face right now, so here’s the number of a mechanic who will take a look at your laser, rocket arm. Don’t worry about the cost, this one’s on me buddy. On the bright side, you‘ll get a head start on those 600 commercials you‘ll film in the off season.
A Priceless Pep Talk from the NFL’s Best QB,
Tom Brady
The Dolphins felt lucky just to be included in anything related to the NFL because most college teams could have beaten them this season. They received a card that read:
Miami, hey at least you guys have the weather and South Beach, right? Good luck with Parcells this year, I’ve always heard about “Dolphin safe tuna,” so it will be interesting to see “Tuna save Dolphins.” In the off-season maybe you and Ricky can go shopping for a new bong…and I heard you might play half of your games against college teams next year, hey maybe you’ll be ranked in the top 25 of something football related again next year!
Tom Brady
The Raiders got kind of a confusing card:
I’m sorry for your loss, Al Davis was…very old…what? Wait, Al Davis is still alive? Then I guess these flowers are more a sorry that Al Davis is still around to destroy your franchise and run your team into the ground. Randy says hi from the end zone. Remember what an end one is? La zona del final.
Sinceramente,
Tom Brady
The Bills were embarrassed by the Pats this year leading to this card:
Bills, what can I say? In two games we outscored you 94 -17. Wow. Steven Wright called, he wants his blood pressure reading back . I threw more touchdowns in those two games than Trent Edwards threw all year. I’m not saying you guys need help, but bringing Jim Kelly out of retirement may not be a bad idea. Doug Flutie? Drew Bledsoe? Dude, somebody in Buffalo has got to step up before they move the team somewhere better. So basically anywhere.
Tom Brady
To the Steelers:
Heard from my buddy at the NFL Network that Big Ben Roethlisberger is hanging up the cleats and become a “rappa.” Here is to hoping that the new album “All Up in Yo’ Grill” is a bigger smash than the imprint you left on that old lady’s Chrysler New Yorker!
Mac Dizzy Tom Briz-ady
The Giants got more of an omniscient card today that read:
Dear Giants, you guys gave us a bit of a scare there at the end that almost disrupted our perfect season. Good job guys…this will NOT happen AGAIN. For Eli, I’ve enclosed a tape of the Seinfeld episode they took off the air in Green Bay, as we Patriots think you should get something enjoyable to watch before you watch us systematically and painfully dismantle you in the Super Bowl.
P.S. Eli,more flowers will be sent to you after the game as I have given Richard Seymour permission to dance on your sternum.
“No Supe-rbowl for you!” LOL,
Tom Brady
What else can you say about Tom Brady? The man is a good sport and class act. He even pays his child support on time! Take a hint Shawn Kemp…
